tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250957280327643321.post2975309209206860553..comments2020-02-07T10:00:23.786-08:00Comments on Living Well On Purpose: How Much Abuse is Too Much?Gr8mochashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16253320965307693403noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250957280327643321.post-4845356427857445632014-02-01T13:29:37.439-08:002014-02-01T13:29:37.439-08:00Kriss, I have been digging into every Christian re...Kriss, I have been digging into every Christian resource I could find in the last few months and I know God had me come to this point on my own way and for my own story. I told my husband I was filing for divorce yesterday and I found this blog by fluke today. This woman is me, her words could be my words. :( Thank you Lord for the encouragement through Kriss to me today.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250957280327643321.post-34771071707275124812010-08-23T09:40:38.349-07:002010-08-23T09:40:38.349-07:00To quote a very famous psychologist, Dr. Phil McGr...To quote a very famous psychologist, Dr. Phil McGraw, "the best indication of future behavior is past behavior". Definitely there are times when a person has to hit rock bottom before they begin to understand, but saying they understand may not be the same as being able articulate from the heart the extent of what you felt and what you went through. Over the course of an abusive relationship, there are many opportunities that the abuser has to change. Sometimes relationships are irretrievably broken and although it is sad that it took that kind of trauma for this person to "see the light", that doesn't mean that you have to go back to the relationship or have any further contact. Your side of the situation is important as well and while we can be thankful that your husband has had an awakening, that is a separate issue from putting a relationship back together.Gr8mochashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16253320965307693403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250957280327643321.post-8495051791211117102010-08-23T07:09:21.898-07:002010-08-23T07:09:21.898-07:00Kriss, I left an abusive relationship at a time wh...Kriss, I left an abusive relationship at a time when I felt there was no other option - the kids and I were not only feeling unsafe, but also worn down, emotionally traumatised and going insane. Not sure that I understood how bad the abuse was, but now with the help of hindsight, it is clear that we were abused. During that time, he had oscillated between being very nice (which sucked us in) and very nasty (which confused us). But since we have split, he has been surprisingly kind and insightful, introspective and much more spiritual. Before he had no time for books or therapy, but after, he says he has been really thinking, reading and seeking help. I want minimal contact, but he is yearning for communication and always wanting a chance to hear what I have to say or to explain his feelings. He still calls me darling and sweetheart. My family and I are very happy now, but he keeps wanting to be a part of our lives. Because he is not being abusive, I feel we have no excuse not to talk to him and in fact beginning to wonder if he is capable of being abusive again. And with the way he is, I am under pressure from others in church to consider his feelings. Is there such a thing as abuse being very bad, only to disappear because a person has hit rock bottom? I know there are signs of change, but it is really hard to tell, especially if the person keeps sounding soft and saying that he understands how awful he was and how we suffered so much and how much he wants to make it up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250957280327643321.post-85742940305435230452010-07-22T15:18:17.264-07:002010-07-22T15:18:17.264-07:00Thank you for your encouragement Brooke. It is go...Thank you for your encouragement Brooke. It is good to know that this information is of help. Many blessings on you!Gr8mochashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16253320965307693403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250957280327643321.post-84307675943107536182010-07-22T14:13:44.914-07:002010-07-22T14:13:44.914-07:00Kris- Thank you so much for your words of encourag...Kris- Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. They ring loud as sirens. Please know how much you help the individuals who have visited your site, including myself. BrookeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com