Internet Dating

There is a special place in my heart for the subject of internet dating relationships. I have seen examples from both sides of the spectrum, but for the most part, I have to say that the internet is not the place to meet potential partners. If I had a nickel for every couple that I've seen in my office with significant issues who met over the internet, I'd probably have a couple dollars. However with that said, there are some important things to consider before using the internet as a relationship tool.

First of all, communication over the internet is not complete. Complete communication involves speaking, hearing, intuition, body language, voice inflection and other non verbal aspects that are too numerous to mention. With the internet you get written communication which in reality is only better than no communication at all.

Secondly, the internet provides a large universe of dishonesty. People can be anything they want on a website or in an email and it is often very difficult to see through some of the predatory tools that are used to lure women (sorry ladies but its mostly women) into relationships. Individuals with certain personality disorders like narcissism, or anti social are very, very adept at appearing to be something they are not and keeping the image going over time....even to the point where you meet them in person.

Thirdly, Christian internet chat rooms are no guarantee that the people in them are emotionally healthy or even Christians. Just because you meet someone in a room that is labeled "Christian" really means nothing. Someone with no conscience would have no trouble going to those types of internet sites to prey on women simply because people there may be more trusting than in other arenas. These individuals are called "predators" for very good reasons and in all reality there are many more of them out there than anyone would like to imagine.

The truth is that good quality relationships, for the most part, are going to be found the old fashioned way. It is a much better means of judging character and integrity than through the written page. There is no guarantee that people won't be fooled by con artists, but there are much better odds when you can see someone face to face than when you can't! This is one of the reasons that I find these sites so predatory to young people. They don't even have life experience to fall back on.

So, in closing, if you are going to use the internet as a relationship tool, at least don't make the initial part of the relationship online. And here is another tip that I'll just throw in for free.......don't end a relationship, argue or try to solve an interpersonal problem through text or email. Everyone involved needs the full spectrum of quality communication in order to deal with the emotional problems in their lives...those kinds of things are best left to face to face communication.

Happy communicating everyone!