The Difference Between a Sociopath and a Psychopath

As I was cruising around the internet doing some research, I found this little tidbit that I thought might be good information for some.  There are a few terms that seem to get thrown around to mean the same thing and they are not.  There is a category of behaviors that falls under the DSM - IV grouping of personality disorders called Anti-social.  Under this heading there are several different qualifications and I thought it might be helpful to understand the difference between a few of them.  Word of Caution: You may be tempted to relate these sociopath characteristics to your unreasonable friends, family and folks. However, only an expert and learned individual can diagnose a person as a sociopath. Hence, refrain from jumping to conclusions. 

Difference Between Sociopath and Psychopath

There are very few differentiations between sociopaths and psychopaths. There are many medical dictionaries that consider them synonymous. Both, sociopaths and psychopaths are involved in antisocial behavior that is related to extreme violence. Though psychiatrists group sociopaths and psychopaths together, criminologists have given some difference between sociopaths and psychopaths.

Behavior of a Sociopath	Behavior of a Psychopath
Sociopaths are very disorganized people	Psychopaths are obsessively organized people
Sociopaths cannot maintain normal relationships with their family, friends and co-workers	Psychopaths tend to have normal relationships with the people around them and are even able to take care of old parents and get married.
Sociopaths are not able to maintain a steady employment or house.	Psychopaths are very successful career-wise . Their ability to organize makes them very likable and trustworthy among people. Psychopaths tend to understand the emotions of others, but they themselves do not feel any emotions. Thus, it is very easy for them to manipulate people with emotional games.
Sociopaths are found living at the periphery of the society. A study carried out with the homeless people of New York as subjects, showed that most of them were sociopaths.	Psychopaths are found living in large apartments and houses and cannot be distinguished from normal people.
Sociopaths are very erratic and unplanned with their acts of extreme violence. There inability to plan ahead and be organized, makes them leave trails of clues. This makes it very easy to identify and zero-in on them.	Psychopaths tend to plan for years before they carry out their act of violence. They plan every single detail of their crime and ensure that they remain undetected. This organized and detailed planning makes it very difficult to catch them.

Sociopaths tend to see their victim as an instrument to be used for personal gains. They try to dominate others and humiliate their victims. They have no qualms lying and it becomes very difficult for them to be truthful. This, makes them believe falsely about their own greatness and powers. It is seen that they can easily pass a lie detector test. They have problems keeping friends, show cruelty towards people and even animals, etc. They have no problems when they play havoc in the lives of others and break their dreams. They do not feel guilty about their act, instead play the blame game and make others responsible for their acts committed. They tend to have promiscuity, involved in child sexual abuse, rape and indulge in sexual acting out of all types. They tend to change their image very often and their life story so convincingly that it helps them avoid prosecution. 

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Truly scary stuff....I believe that I have had a few individuals who had many of the characteristics listed here walk through the doors of my office and they are definitely a force to be reckoned with.  As human beings, we are used to dealing with a population who has self imposed boundaries.  We innately trust that people will just not do certain things but when those boundaries disappear, it can be very frightening.  It's similar to the trust that we have that our home is safe if we lock the doors, yet all it would take for a robber to get in would be to break a window.  We live behind the illusion that no one will do that, yet someone who has no boundaries and no conscience would have no problem doing that kind of thing.  For the most part, these types of individuals have no place in our society, yet 1% of the population is dealing with these kinds of disorders.  Women who marry this type of individual spend their lives trying to figure out what is wrong and often pay a very high price for doing that.

For those who ask the question, "Can they be helped?"   The answer is not often.  There are people in our society who have dedicated their lives to helping individuals with these kinds of disorders, but the most common obstacle is that the disorder itself causes them to believe that they are OK and the rest of the world is out of order.  They are superior and the rest of us are flawed....therefore they do not need help.  There are a few who have recognized that they need help, and once that happens it is a long, tenuous journey to a manageable life.  

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EMDR Therapy - Very Effective For Trauma

EMDR?  What is that?
A very common response when I mention the use of this therapy in situations where my clients have been victims of abuse, rape or assault.  EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) is an extremely effective therapy which allows our emotional process to continue from where it has been stuck.  It was discovered and developed by Francine Shapiro who continues to facilitate the study of and effects of EMDR on trauma survivors.
When human beings have been through situations that are traumatic for them, those memories often get stuck along with the traumatic emotions that were generated along with them.  Why? Because emotions and memories are chemical.  When chemicals are not resolved within the body, sensations or smells, sights or sounds can trigger them again and the person relives those experiences over and over.  This is what Post Traumatic Stress is.  The condition is best seen in combat veterans who have been in life and death situations, over stimulated by sound in fearful circumstances, visually stimulated by horrific images that accompany combat situations.
One way our bodies process these feelings and memories is through rapid eye movement.  Rapid eye movement happens at night in REM sleep....when we reach REM sleep we dream.  It is not uncommon to have nightmares, vivid dreams or sensations after a traumatic incident.  In all reality, that is a good sign; however it can be uncomfortable and/or unpleasant.  I say it is a good sign because it is a sign that the traumatic incident is being processed, which is what we want to have happen.  The optic nerve is connected to the brain in such a way that the rapid movement of the eyes in a side to side (bi-lateral) motion facilitates the emotional process.  EMDR facilitates that same motion, allowing trauma that has become stuck and unresolved, to be processed.  The goal is not to erase the memory, but simply put, to take the emotional charge off the memory so that it simply takes the place of being another memory in our memory banks.  Additionally, EMDR is not guided imagery or hypnosis.  It facilitates our God given emotional resolution processes so that we can heal and move on with our lives.
It has only been in recent times where the use of EMDR has been expanded beyond the combat veteran scenario.  Those who work in the mental health field see traumatized individuals every day who have been in abusive relationships, car accidents, sudden huge losses or assault situations and recognize that these individuals also suffer from PTSD or a form of it.   EMDR is very helpful in facilitating the healing process and helping victims of every sort of trauma move forward.  EMDR also is beneficial for individuals who just find themselves stuck; stuck in their careers, stuck in their situations or not seeming to be able to move past certain behaviors or responses as well as the fears and beliefs that accompany them.
Speaking of fear, it might be helpful to note that there are only four basic fears; the fear of rejection, the fear of abandonment, the fear of death and the fear of dying.  All of our negative emotional responses have one or more of these four fears at the root.  It helps to be able to boil down our emotional reactions to identify which of these fears we are dealing with and then begin to confront the fear, recognize the lies we have believed and ask the Lord to help us see what the truth is.  These types of fears can be debilitating, however that is not to say that all fear is bad.  A feeling of fear walking down an urban street at 1am might be worth paying attention to as a means of discernment to get out of that situation quickly.
In closing, I want to communicate to my readers that emotions are neither good or bad, they are amoral.  Emotions are messengers of what is happening inside and we either choose to listen to them and take steps to correct the issues at hand, or we kill the messenger and refuse to listen.  Emotions can be our friend or if denied, they go on to cause difficulties in our lives in the form of creating self defense mechanisms or as a last resort, the body begins to break down in ways that facilitate disease.  Emotions never die, whether we choose to feel them or not.
If you have been the victim of a traumatic experience, I would encourage you to find a counselor who is well trained in EMDR and talk to them about whether this type of therapy would be beneficial for you.

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Red Flags to Be Aware of As You Develop New Relationships

As we develop new relationships with people, it is necessary to understand that there are levels to those relationships and if we do not follow the natural and established progression of those relationships, we can find ourselves in trouble no matter whether it is just a friendship or whether we are courting a more intimate relationship.

What do I mean by levels?  The levels in a relationship are steps that we take to get to know another person.  As we progress from stranger to close friend or intimate partner, we have to give the relationship time to develop so that we can evaluate whether the person is a good fit for our lives, what kind of character they posses and if they can be trusted.  We have to take these levels in order, not getting one before the other so that trust and bonding can happen or if we are moving into a relationship with someone who is untrustworthy, abusive or even dangerous, we know that in time to be able to extricate ourselves.  In so many relationships these days, sexual encounters come way too early in the relationship and intimate bonding takes place before each individual has had time to evaluate the other person.  This kind of bonding then makes it much more difficult to evaluate the "Red Flags" that may come along.

Each level of a relationship has its characteristics.  When we first meet someone, we make small talk and over the course of different conversations we begin to evaluate whether the person is of interest to us.  Sometimes there is a connection, sometimes there isn't.  If the person peaks our interest, we will see them again in a different context...perhaps over coffee, dinner or maybe just by phone.  In these conversations, we can determine whether the person is easy or difficult to communicate with, whether there are mutual interests and what kind of life the person has had or is planning on having.  In these first few levels of relationship we are evaluating on many different levels.  If we determine the other person is interesting to us, we will probably move into the next level of relationship which is denoted by spending more time together in different ways, exploring mutual interests and taking conversations deeper.  We may talk about family, goals for the future and what our dreams and visions are for our lives.  In this level we are evaluating whether the person is safe, what we like about them and they are doing the same with us.

Once trust is established, then there is a time period where we evaluate where the relationship is going and if it is an opposite sex relationship, if we are interested in pursuing a deeper kind of relationship.  From there, the relationship becomes more defined, roles are established, boundaries are defined and there is a structure that starts to take place between the two people.  Moving forward, a foundation is being laid for a more connected and intimate relationship down the road.  Looking at the complexity of these levels of relationship, it is somewhat easy to see why introducing a sexual encounter early on may disrupt the natural flow of things.

However, the focus of this article is what takes place in the early stages of relationship building and what to look for in order to determine whether the person is safe and trustworthy to become involved with.  When individuals are not safe and/or not trustworthy there are certain characteristics that tend to pop out over time and we need to understand that in order to evaluate them, we must take time in establishing relationships with a person of the opposite sex.  Some of these are just common sense, but some may not be so obvious....let's take a look:

1. Criminal History - if there is any violence, sexual abuse, substance abuse or histories of any type of crime, a person should consider that a red flag.  Patterns of behavior mean something, no matter how much justification is offered.  If you don't want to deal with the behavior, understand that if there hasn't been any outside help to change the behavior, it will probably appear in any relationship the individual has.
2. Employment Record - look for long periods of unemployment, job instability or job dissatisfaction.  This may indicate a lack of motivation, an inability to get along with authority or even co-workers and even a mental health/substance use problem in the person's live.
3. Military Service Record - was there an honorable discharge?  That one speaks for itself.
4. Health and Medical History - is there history of STDs or even HIV?  Have they been through rehab?  Substance abuse is very detrimental to a relationship and a history of sexually transmitted diseases or even testing for them can show a propensity for commitment issues, lack of respect for themselves or others.
5. Mental Health History - a history of depression, mental illness or even low self esteem can be a red flag that needs to be observed.  Although many people go through their lives with depression and low self esteem, these things can create issues in a relationship because of negativity and lack of boundaries or social skills.
6. Family History and Relationships with Family Members - How do they resolve differences and disputes?  Is the relationship with family healthy?  Is there any mental illness, substance abuse, child abuse or domestic violence?  These things change the way individuals deal with stress, change or problems and need to be seriously evaluated before considering progress to a committed relationship.  How is mom treated?  How does the person treat their father?
7. Previous Relationships - was there (are there) violence/control issues?  Did the previous relationship break up amicably or is/was there bitterness and anger?  It may be advisable to speak to the ex to see if their story matches what is being told.  Often two people who break up will not have the same reasons, but if the person you are with is minimizing or being evasive, it is worth the time to check out their story.
8. History or signs of substance abuse or addictions - these things in a relationship can lead to physical violence, financial instability, child abuse, sexual abuse as well as emotional and verbal abuse.  When a person's mind is altered in any way, you will not be dealing with the same person you know in a sober condition.
9. Credit History - Does this person own property, a home, cars, retirement accounts.  If not, why not?  A good credit history is a good indicator of stability and responsibility.
10. Treatment of Pets, Animals and Children - any history with them, is patience and understanding shown, have there been any signs of violence?  Violence against animals is a clear indicator of significant issues and individuals with a history of this should be avoided.
11. Pornography - pornography is an indicator of how the individual may be able to connect with another person intimately.  Objectification is a fancy word for lack of empathy and connection and it is something that becomes important when someone is addicted to pornography.  When a man objectifies a woman, he sees her as one dimensional....like the pictures in the magazine.  She has no feelings to be considered, and she is there for his gratification only.  The women in the magazines don't talk back, they don't ask for respect and a relationship with them doesn't have to be worked at.  This is the problem with pornography, whether it is in print or on the internet.  It blinds its victim to emotional connection, honor and respect of the other person in the relationship and as we know, that causes a host of problems in relationships.
12. Honor and Respect - How does the individual see others?  Are people treated with honor and respect or are they yelled at from behind the wheel of the car, pushed aside in order to get to the front of the line or talked about behind their backs?  
13. Ladies - does the man you are involved with ask you for money?  Do you feel as though you should pay for things because he can't afford them or doesn't have the money to do what he needs to do........child support, bills, fines etc.  Don't do it!  It is a sign of irresponsibility and that should mean something to you.
14. Boundaries - a lack of boundaries means a lack of respect.
15. Control and/or manipulation - if the person you are with does not accept responsibility for their actions, if they manipulate you or control you; if they won't let you see your friends or family; if they lie and say they didn't....these are major warning signs and you should run, not walk in the other direction.
16. Legalism - in faith based relationships it is important to recognize legalism.  Individuals who use scripture to control/manipulate/dominate another person are operating outside of those scriptures.  God is not controlling nor is He dominating.  He has given us free will.
17. Growth - if you cannot be who you are, if you cannot grow inside the relationship then the relationship is not a good fit for you.

Although you may not see the need, it is important to develop a "Screening Committee" of 3 or 4 people you respect and trust who can give you feedback with regard to the individual that you are developing a relationship with.  This is especially important if you have a history of getting involved with abusive individuals.  Be ready to listen to their concerns and don't minimize them.  They are probably the same ones you've had.  

No matter what people say, character matters!  People are who they really are when no one is watching and that says a lot about character and integrity.  Pay attention to these things and it will save you many hours of pain and perhaps financial devastation in your future relationships.  

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Co-Dependence or as it is otherwise known, Enabling

Today, I have a question from someone who is trying to identify the characteristics of a co-dependent loved one. Co-dependence within a marriage can look like enabling someone to continue in an undesirable behavior, or within a family it can interfere with the couples ability to be truly independent and complete the individuation process. Sometimes as parents, we don't realize when we are being co-dependent with our grown children, but it is something that needs to be talked about.
The question is:
"Hi - I've been dealing with serious difficulties in my marriage over the three years since the wedding. My wife is extremely inconsistent and emotional. After much work, I'm feeling as though my wife may have codependence issues from her family of origin and other relationships. Could you give a description of what types of general behaviours could be expected and how a person may act if they are codependent, but not in a codependent relationship?"
Even the best parents, out of a sense of love and caring may step over boundaries that they shouldn't. An honoring relationship doesn't take out of the hands of a competent person that which they can do for themselves, or should do for themselves. When we have trouble seeing someone we love struggle, it is important to ask ourselves why we want to help. Is it to relieve our own angst or because the other person truly needs help?
Studies have been done on children who have been born naturally and those that were born through a Cesarean section. Oddly enough, those who didn't have to struggle to be born are often more lay back and don't have as strong a desire to struggle through problems in order to achieve their goals. Interesting, huh?
The answer to the above question may shed some light on this subject:
"I'd be happy to share with you what I know about codependency. In what I'm about to tell you, it is important to know that even though these behaviors may be annoying, the person is not bad. Codependent people have learned these behaviors in order to survive through childhood and have depended on them in order to protect themselves. Sometimes women learn these behaviors because they believe they are feminine and that is what it means to be a lady. Other times, they have learned this behavior as a means to get their needs met. Whatever the reason is, it was legitimate at the time, in the circumstances where it was learned. When the person then changes their circumstances, the behavior doesn't work well anymore. It's like learning your lines to be in a play. You learn what to say, when to say it and where to say your lines. If you are then put in another play, those lines won't work, the marks you hit don't match and it becomes a mess if you don't learn new lines and new ways of behaving.

People who are codependent tend to feel responsible for others. They believe that they have control over what someone else feels, thinks, the choices they make, their well being and perhaps even their destiny. These are the abused women who fully believe that if they just change their behavior, how they act, what they say and what they feel, their abusers will be happy. These are the children who believe that if they are just better boys and girls, mommy will be happy and everything will be right with the world.

These folks will feel guilty when other people have problems and feel compelled to help that person solve the problem. They give advice, unasked for suggestions and try to "fix" everything. They also feel rejected when their "help" doesn't work or their advice isn't taken. They try to anticipate other people's needs and meet those needs and then wonder why others don't do that for them.

Codependent individuals say yes when they want to say no and get roped into doing things they don't want to do, or do more than their part. They usually don't know what they want or need and put others needs before their own consistently. This is a self worth issue. They work to please others at their own expense.

They can do much for others, but are unable to accept help or gifts or even compliments for themselves and they feel the most safe when they are giving to others. They will get very upset when another person experiences some kind of injustice, but are not so upset when they themselves are treated badly.

They are attracted to needy people and find that needy people are
attracted to them. Life tends to be boring if they aren't in a crisis, or have a problem to solve. Solving problems gives them self esteem. When someone needs them, they will drop what they are doing and respond. They over-commit themselves and often feel pressured, but at the same time, they relish the pressure because it shows others they are working hard to solve a problem.

Although they may not admit this, there is a deep down feeling that others are responsible for them, they blame others for not being responsible for them, blame others for the way they feel and say other people make them crazy. They often feel angry, victimized, unappreciated and used.

Other people often become impatient or angry with them because of these characteristics.

You can find more information about codependency in a book called Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie. These characteristics and more are listed in that book and it gives you a very well rounded perspective of a codependent person as well as ways to heal from codependency.

I hope this information helps to answer your question. If your wife is willing to go to counseling, she would benefit from that as this issue is very difficult to deal with on your own. These behaviors are the safety measures that have been put in place over time and fear will keep her locked in to them. Someone will need to walk this journey with her and a counselor is more able to hold her accountable than you are. It would not be advisable for you to fill that role."
Have a great day everyone! We're in the middle of a pouring rainstorm here. Looks like summer may be a few more weeks off!

A Credit to Her Profession

One thing I like to do with this blog is recognize stories about people who have done inspirational things. My daughter shared this with me tonight, an experience one of her friends, Ms. E, wrote to her. Ms. E is a teacher, and from what I can see, a very sensitive and wise individual. Enjoy!
...................................................................................
Today I got to be a good teacher.
Okay, so obviously every day is a chance to do my job and do it well, but... Today I was reminded vividly about what it was like to be a 13-year-old girl, and got to dispense the advice that I wish someone other than my mother would have told me when I was that age.
I was in the office talking to my assistant principal, and when I walked out, K, a student of mine from first semester, was sitting at a desk, writing on one of our Official Student Statement sheets and looking, like.... intensely distressed. Now, K is a good girl. K never gets in trouble, was the one kid I've had who never turned in homework late, ever, and is just all around awesome. So to see her in the office writing on something... yeah.
"Hey, Miss K! What are you doing in here, petal?" I asked.
She explained that Ms. T, her math teacher, had caught her combing her hair in class. "She said it was nasty," K said. "And I put the comb away, and said I was sorry, but then she said..." K's eyes started to well with tears, her lower lip quivering. "She said it wouldn't even make a difference, anyway, whether I combed it or not."
"What did you say?" I asked, hoping she hadn't been sent to the office.
"I didn't say nothing," K said.
"You came at passing period?" I asked.
She nodded. At this point she was full-on crying.
I thought about how I had been at 13. God, was that a fucking shitty age.
"Well," I said, taking a deep breath, "two things. First, I'm really proud of you for keeping yourself together and not saying anything back to Ms. T. I know how hard it is when someone says something to you that hurts your feelings, even if they're a teacher. You made a really smart choice there, and you showed just how mature you are."
She nodded, the tears still coming down her cheeks, quick and heartbreaking.
"The other thing I'm gonna do is tell you what my grandmother told me when I was your age. This is age-old wisdom, K, are you ready for it?" I smiled, trying to get her to look less like she wanted to curl up into a ball and sink into the chair.
"My grandmother always told me that a lady should never reveal how she achieves perfection. You don't want people to see what goes on behind the scenes - you want them to think that you just woke up looking like your perfect self. If you need to comb your hair, you want to do that somewhere private, and walk out like your hair was always that way. Combing your hair in the middle of class..." I didn't want to say is pretty gross, so I paused, searching for something more tactful. "It's not ladylike."
She looked up at me with serious eyes, still wet with tears. "Yes, ma'am," she said. "I know."
"But most importantly, K," I said, "I know how important it is for you to look put together. I know you don't want to look messy, and that's why you were combing your hair. You need to find an appropriate place to do it, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to look well-groomed, you understand?"
"Exactly!" she said, a ghost of a smile finally coming to her face.
"Honey, what Ms. T said about your hair... I know she didn't mean it like that, but even if she did, she's wrong. Your hair is lovely, and you take good care of it and it shows."
The tears were still coming, but she was smiling now, wiping them away.
"But your hair is not the most important thing about you. It's not even the most important thing about the way you look. You could have long hair, curly hair, a giant Afro, you could dye your hair three different colors or have a big old bald head and you would still be absolutely gorgeous. You're a wonderful, beautiful girl, and nothing Ms. T or anyone says about you or your hair is going to change that."
I felt my inner 13-year-old smile. K smiled back at her, even if she didn't quite know it.
"Now," I said, taking a deep breath. "Let me get you a kleenex and a hug."
She took the hug first, then the kleenex. I left her finishing up her statement, and went back to my room to have a little cry.

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Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

In the realm of personality disorders, the DSM-IV TR lists a total of nine. Some of them are well known and some of them are not. The ones that most people are familiar with are the anti-social types which are commonly called serial killers or psychopaths. Narcissistic and Borderline Personality disorders are becoming more well known in our day and age as well. However, there is another disorder that is worth noting, considering the perfectionism that is becoming so standard within our culture. The one I am speaking of is Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder.
There are no personality disorders that are ever diagnosed in children, however personality disorders are characterized as being pervasive over the lifetime. What that means is that even though the disorder may be recognized in its total extent once the person is 18 or older, in my opinion, when you look back over the person's early life as a child or adolescent, there are indicators there that can point toward these disorders in later life. For example, no psychologist or counselor would look at a child who abuses animals, mistreats insects etc and say they are serial killers, that would be inappropriate. However, when you look back over the lives of known serial killers, you will more than likely find that type of behavior. Individuals who are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder usually have childhoods that are filled with problematic behavior, exaggeration and mis-perception, but it needs to develop over time in order to see the course develop. It is the same way with OCPD. The person with this disorder is very rigid, preoccupied with rules and is unable to engage in the spirit or principle of a thing...they only see the rule. That doesn't mean that every child who is preoccupied with cleanliness and rules is going to grow up with this disorder, but it can mean that parents should pay attention to this behavior and do their best to bring a sense of balance to their child's life.
Mentalhealth.com puts it this way:
"Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is a condition characterized by a chronic preoccupation with rules, orderliness, and control. This disorder is only diagnosed when these behaviors become persistent and disabling. The individual with this disorder often becomes upset when control is lost. The individual then either emotionally withdraws from these situations, or becomes very angry. The individual usually expresses affection in a highly controlled or stilted fashion and may be very uncomfortable in the presence of others who are emotionally expressive. The person often has difficulty expressing tender feelings, and rarely pays compliments.
Complications:
The individual's chronic preoccupation with rules, orderliness, and control seems to prevent many of the complications (e.g., drug abuse, reckless sex, financial irresponsibility) that are common to some other personality disorders. Occupationally, the individual tends to be a high achiever with an excessive devotion to work. However, inflexibility, perfectionism, preoccupation with detail, and inability to delegate work may seriously interfere with the individual's ability to complete a given task. The individual experiences occupational difficulties when confronted with new situations that demand flexibility and compromise."
OCPD differs from Obsessive Compulsive disorder in the following ways:
1. OCD is an illness with symptoms that change in severity over time, while OCPD reflects an overly rigid personality style that does not change much over a person’s lifetime.
2. OCPD is not associated with the obsessions and compulsions that are so prominent in OCD. Although people with OCD and OCPD might both carry out repetitive behaviors, the underlying motive is very different. While someone with OCD might repeatedly write out lists or organize items around the home to keep a catastrophe from taking place, someone with OCPD would be more likely to do these activities to increase their efficiency or productivity.
3. While people with OCD usually want to get rid of their symptoms, it is not uncommon for people with OCPD to see nothing wrong with their behavior and to feel that “other people” are the problem. Likewise, although people with OCD will usually seek help for the distress caused by their obsession or compulsions, individuals with OCPD will usually seek treatment because of conflict between themselves and family and friends related to their need to have others conform to their way of doing things.
4. People with OCPD often have very rigid views on “right versus wrong,” and this rigidity may extend to spending habits; people with OCPD are often described as miserly. Neither of these is a defining characteristic of OCD.
5. In comparison to those with OCD, people with OCPD tend to be more ruled by perfectionism and have a higher need for order and control in both their personal and professional lives. It is not uncommon for individuals with OCPD to become irritated by others who do not value order, perfectionism and exactness to the same extent that they do. Because of this perfectionism, it is not uncommon for people with OCPD to be overly devoted to work.
(comparison taken from http://ocd.about.com/od/diagnosis/f/OCD_OCPDFAQ.htm)
This particular disorder can be categorized in a nutshell by understanding that people with OCPD live entirely in their heads, often to avoid the pain of life that is seen as out of control. They are preoccupied with excellence, perfection and production, to the extent that the feelings of those around them are insignificant. Their connection to their hearts has been mostly cut off which gets in the way of deep, intimate relationships. As with most of the personality disorders, feelings are "done" rather than "felt". Often, individuals who are Christians come into counseling because they don't understand why their relationship with God seems so distant. They view others who seem to be able to hear God speak to them, feel His presence and have a productive prayer life and may wonder why they can't "do that".
When you look at the world with the understanding of OCPD, you may see some different things. This is often a very lonely existence, made up by working harder and harder at production and excellence. The question then begs to be asked, does our society...the one which places SO MUCH emphasis on beauty, perfection and success...does it create and feed disorders such as this? What do you think?

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